Immortal - Battles in the North (1995)

Though few realize it, sitting in the middle of a snowy field while wearing bad makeup and having a very dour grimace on your face is actually a very good battle tactic. Your attackers will naturally assume that you're too ridiculous to even bother fighting against and just go home. Immortal, masters of this technique, have decided to showcase it for us right on this very album cover. Not only is it deterring me from wanting to attack them, it's also deterring me from ever wanting to listen to their music or even look at them with a straight face. Truly, Immortal are masters of their craft.

Knorkator - Hasenchartbreaker (1999)

Knorkator are not a band that take themselves seriously, which is something I can respect in a way. They realize full-well that KISS makeup just makes people look retarded most of the time, so they decided to go with it to make themselves look stupid, I guess. I know it's in good fun and all, but this really just isn't a good album cover. The color saturation is off, everyone looks like they've been lobotomized, and the unnaturally whitened teeth everyone is sporting just makes them look weird (to say nothing of the receding hairline on the guy on the left).

Knorkator: proving that KISS aren't the only ugly, middle-aged schmucks wearing stupid clown makeup.

Furr - Furr (1977)

The advent of KISS makeup was both a bane and a boon to the world of rock music. While KISS makeup has the tendency to make artists look unbelievably silly, it has the bonus effect of serving as a warning sign; just as poison dart frogs have bright colors to warn you not to eat them, Furr and other bands wear KISS makeup to warn you not to listen to them.

What the hell's with the knee-high leather boots? These guys seem to be going for a combination superhero/go-go dancer look. Maybe these guys were involved in some long-lost saturday morning cartoon pilot where they're dancer rockstar masked superheroes who fly around the universe in a rocketship powered by HOT GUITAR LIXX. Or maybe they're just stupid.