Boys Town Gang - Can't Take My Eyes Off You (1997)

Well. Sometimes, I really don't need to say anything at all about these covers.

Ethel Merman - The Ethel Merman Disco Album (1979)

Disco didn't just claim poor Donny Osmond as a victim during the 70s. The usually stately Ethel Merman, drunk on disco's intoxicating fumes, decided to come up with her own idea of what disco was, a disco of endless flashing lights, disembodied hands holding aloft cowboy hats, and gigantic paisley mumus. Poor Ethel. Let this be a lesson to you all; friends don't let friends do disco.

Boney M - Love for Sale (1977)

At first glance, this album cover may seem like just another retarded 1970s disco cover, one whose blatant sexism has gone so far over the top that's become as nasty as the carpet our main man is wearing on his chest. But probe deeper. What seems to be blatant sexism is actually an intelligently concocted political statement about the hedonism of the disco scene of the late 70s. The women are slaves to overwhelming lust, passion, and the whims of effete playboys who could not care less about them and would gladly exchange their company for money with which to fuel their debauched lifestyle. The chains also tie into the issue of race; these women literally become slaves, harkening back to the destruction of African homelands and the exploitation of black labor in the Americas, our male lead being a traitor of the highest caliber as he sells his own blood, his own heritage, in an attempt to gain money and power from a group that does not respect him at all. Truly, this album cover is a tribute to the genius of music's ability to expand our minds and our horizons.

...on second thought, after examining the album cover further, in particular our male lead's silver codpiece, I reverse my analysis. This is the product of a shallow and sexist culture in which people actually did stupid things like hang out at Studio 54 or let Styx albums hit the Top 10 instead of the bottom of a trash can. Intellectual crisis averted!

Paul Jabara - Disco Wedding (1979)

For sounding like a monumentally bad song and a bad idea in general, the cover itself doesn't look that bad. At a glance. Then you start to notice that the faces of the bride and groom look awfully similar. And that the bride's hair doesn't quite look real. And that her body type is a little mannish. And that she's Paul Jabara in a wedding dress.

The big question is: why? Is the implication here that Paul Jabara wants to marry himself?

Donny Osmond - Disco Train (1976)

It's best to understand disco not as a form of perfectly good dance music, but rather a horrible mental disorder that infected the mid-to-late 70s and destroyed American culture from the inside-out. Under the influence of disco, people did strange and horrible things. Here, we see young, clean-cut all-American Donny Osmond, whose mental state has clearly been disturbed by disco. Having stolen some clothes from Elton John's wardrobe, he's placed himself in the way of a speeding train, completely oblivious to the danger he's in as he pounds away on a white grand piano he snagged from Liberace. He doesn't know what the piano has to do with disco music: he doesn't especially care. All he knows is that he must boogie down before the train sets upon him and cuts his life short.