Lords of Acid - The Crablouse (1994)

At first, I thought that a b-grade parody of a Calvin Klein ad would have to be better than their stupid Pussy cover. Then again, on that cover you don't have to play fun games like "figure out where the hell is that arm coming from" or "see how long you can avoid eye contact with pubic hair."

Ted Nugent - Craveman (2002)

This album cover was brought to you by five minutes with Photoshop's bevel tool.

Cannibal Corpse - Worm-Infested (2003)

While this might not really be the worst or most shocking album cover by Cannibal Corpse standards (mostly due to the lack of extreme amounts of gore), this one is still pretty damned bad in its own right. The gigantic amount of wormy tentacles trying to make their way into the girl's most special of places is already bad enough, but then there's the gigantic gaping maw of hell in the background that gives new meaning to the term "vagina dentata." Maybe this means I'm meant to psychoanalyze this, Freud style, to figure out just what the band's sexual hangups are that would result in them putting things like bloody raped corpses on most of their album covers, but most of me doesn't really want to know.

Cattle Decapitation - Human Jerky (1999)

If you're trying to be shocking with an album cover (and if you're a grindcore act, you're almost certainly trying to be shocking), it might help to use a little less contrast on your photo. It seriously took me about 10 minutes for me to figure out that what I was looking at wasn't an unidentifiable blur of red and black but was actually a decapitated cattle head (GEE, JUST LIKE THE BAND NAME). Boy was my face red!

Did you know that the members of this band are apparently vegetarians and place a huge emphasis on animal rights? After seeing this cover, they sure could've fooled me!

The Ministers Quartet - Let Me Touch Him

No offense, but I'd rather not let your guys' hands get within 50 feet of anybody. In fact, I get the sneaking suspicion that these four are responsible for the invention of the restraining order.

A Day of Fun at the Circus

Hey, my idea of fun at the circus is ALSO carpetbombing the circus along and the 10 mile radius surrounding it, dressing up like Emmett Kelly, and looking sad amongst the rubble and body parts. It's like the guys who made this album cover could READ MY MIND!

Roger - The Many Facets of Roger (1981)

Among Roger's many facets are his inability to dress himself in clothing that isn't both ridiculous and extremely ugly, his inability to get a decent haircut, and his shameless mugging for the department store camera that undoubtedly was used to create these shots in the first place.

Kevin Rowland - My Beauty (1999)

If someone were to ask me what my deepest, darkest nightmares looked like, I would have to say that this album cover comes fairly close to nailing it.

Kenny Loggins - Keep the Fire (1979)

Apparently, not only did the second coming already happen, it appears that everyone's favorite soft-rock movie soundtrack mainstay Kenny Loggins was the chosen one. Now I suddenly don't feel as bad for making fun of all of those Christian album covers.

Main Source - Breaking Atoms (1991)

"So you see, when you split open atoms by placing them inside this blue sea-shelly thing, delicious jawbreakers fly out! Ha! And they said that nuclear fission was dangerous!"