Cerrone - Cerrone's Paradise (1976)

My personal paradise also involves nude women giving themselves back problems on ancient appliances and wearing a dorky leisure suit while some mysterious white substance congeals on the floor! It's like Cerrone and I are cut from the same swarthy, hairy cloth!

Angel - White Hot (1977)

Let it be known that these men who stand before you now, these most divine beings, collectively possess the nicest set of tits in the entierity of this Hieronymous Bosch-esque world that we live in. These men, with their long, flowing hair and perky breasts, shall change the world. You shall see.

Birth Control - Believe in the Pill (1972)

Believe in the pill or you'll end up dumping your malformed neon-pink fetus in a trash can next to some rotting food and a busted pair of aviators. This seems like a reasonable enough message, except for actually, you know, providing us with an image to go by. I guess we should at least be thankful that the band didn't try to go down a Chumbawamba-esque route and make the fetus look more realistic or actually have it be a real fetus.

Dennis Farnon and his Orchestra - Caution! Men Swinging (1957)

The 50s were a bad era to in which to be a homosexual. Subtlety had to be used when writing about or otherwise depicting homosexuality without being labeled one yourself and thus having your life ruined. This album cover seems to fail on almost every count. Aside from the blatantly obvious name and its implication of gay swingers having a good time, we see blatant phallic imagery in the clarinet and how happy its player seems to be. There is the fact that the clarinet player is straddling a sawhorse in such a way as to make his crotch extremely prominent. And then there's the guy in the foreground, creepily fantasizing about the whole thing. I don't know what the significance of the ladder is, though. I think it's just a ladder.

Vickie Hanson - Vickie Hanson's Aerobic Glow: Fitness in Action

Well the stripes on her shirt certainly make for an interesting optical illusion, until you realize that she's actually wearing those stripes seriously. Then it just becomes ugly.

(The above commentary was provided by my good friend Jeff!)

Soulja Slim - Give It 2 'Em Raw (1998)

Well there certainly is no better way of giving it to somebody raw than starting World War III.

Aaron Carter - Aaron Carter (1998)

All across the world, pedophiles with an "Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks" fetish are fantasizing about this image. I can just feel it.

The Travellers - A World of Our Own

In about 5 minutes, the world of their own is going to involve the term "death by train."

Dayglo Abortions - Two Dogs Fucking (1990)

This is one of those few times when the album cover actually delivers on what the album's name is. It also makes you wish that it hadn't.

The New Cars - It's Alive! (2006)

More like "It took 5 minutes to make in Adobe Illustrator!"