This year, the role of Santa Claus will be performed by that creepy guy down at the office who always has that blank grin on his face and talks in a halting, stilted manner about the wonders of old episodes of Star Trek and his hobby building model airplanes and gives nervous, sidelong glances to all of his female coworkers to the point where all of them try to avoid him as much as possible as he just stands there, rocking back and forth on his heels, mentioning to them that he learned to play accordion just like John Linnell from They Might Be Giants since that guy is so smart and the accordion is such a great instrument and do they want to hear him play it and nobody dares talk to him out of the fear that he'll follow them home and things will just get even more awkward from there.
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